The Unfamiliar sights and sounds of Testing Week

ok so i feel all out of sorts right now because today was just so not an ordinary monday. I woke up around 8:30 (!!) and moped around for half an hour until my mom said we could go to the doctor for this gross ugly stinkin cough ive had for almost a week. So in the next 3 hours i went to two different doctor's offices and sat in two different depressing waiting rooms just to get some antiobiotics and some contrived small talk. Then we rushed out of there and shipped me off to school only to realize that i would be there for 25 min...great....so now i feel like im behind because i missed class (yes i know how paranoid i sound) and im not feeling up to doing anything today (like reading money makes the world go round like im supposed to)

ive been thinking...
"High school is such a sham..." (a brilliant quote by mandy) Resonating in my brain. So profoundly true. It's so hard to grasp that my high school days are dwindling and all i can think about is "what am i going to wear to prom? who am i going to get ready with and go to dinner with and go home with?" these things are so stupid and trivial yet they come up. This year (specifically second semester) and all these hollywood-glamourized notions of senior year and prom is just not happening the way i hoped it would and instead of going with the flow of things I am sitting here complaining about it and overthinking this entire situation. But honestly...
(wait new thought)
Since when did I have to conciously work at keeping relationships? Why is it so hard for me to let go of people? Is it that abnormal for me to care when i lose touch with people? or when you don't understand why people are suddenly not your friends anymore even though you see them everyday?
"High school is such a sham..." Why does my independence translate as "nobody wants me"? Since im too tired to thoroughly finish ranting im going to end with this: I'm making a declaration to embrace randomness and let the upcoming events spontanteously erupt into what's hopefully something that I can remember as "fun". Why? because i give up and analyzing everything is exhausting (as much as i love it).

I am so tired right now. My head has been hurting since the FRQ section of the AP Stat test today. I feel like I need to stick up for what I want. So many people are so worried about the things they need to take care of in life that they forget to take care of themselves. I pray that God reveals the truth and puts the pieces together so I don't need to keep feeling confused.